Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Change, Do, Feel

I've always talked about "midlife" as an opportunity, not a crisis.  Ironically, I now find myself in a crisis.   But really, they are the same thing aren't they?  Crisis brings opportunity.

This is my opportunity to allow myself to live authentically.  True to who I know that I am but have never really fully become.  Though difficult, it is exciting.

It is, and always has been, my thoughts that keep me from living a full life.  I need to take control of my thought life.  I need to intercept the negative and replace them with the positive.  It'll take practice.

My therapist and I talked about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) the other day.  She said that first you have to change your thoughts, then you change what you do,  and then you will feel differently

This is helpful to me because I always think that I need to feel better before I "do" better.  Now I know that I have to work on changing my thought process and "do" what I know I want to do and then I will feel how I want to feel.  Am I making sense here? 

Here's an example.

I wake up in the morning and my first thoughts are about how my house isn't the way I want it to be and that I'm somehow flawed because I can't keep it the way I want and that I'll never be able to do it.

I would then deliberately change these thoughts.  Shift them to the positive.

The house doesn't look the way I want it to, but that's o.k.  It doesn't say anything about who I am.  I am not flawed because there is unfolded laundry in the living room and dishes in the sink.  Today I will  take steps to get things the way I would like them.    "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Phil. 4:13

Then, even if I don't feel like it or don't feel capable or whatever, I begin to straighten things out.  It's after the "doing" that the "feeling" comes.

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